This video is a scene from my favorite movie Paris, Je T’Aime. The scene takes place at La Pere Lachaise, the famous French cemetery where Jim Morrison is buried. I wrote a mid-term paper for another Comm class on this scene last semester using social exchange theory; for those of you who need a refresher of Comm 211- it’s the idea that in every relationship we are in we weigh out our costs and benefits without even knowing it.
I have found this scene and theory outrageously interesting. In this exchange, Frances and William are arguing about their relationships and their relational miscommunication. The viewer finds out that William is a work-a-holic, while Frances is looking for “lightness” is her relationship.
This desire for laughter in her relationship seems to be Frances’ god-word or the word that is of utmost importance to her- or in terms of social exchange theory- costs and benefits. In her relationship that’s what she needs. I feel as if we all have something that is of the utmost importance to us. I would personally say that in a relationship god-words and their antithesis, devil-words, are the difference between a happy relationship or not.
To sustain a happy and healthy relationship (in which your benefits outweigh your costs), one’s desires (god-words) must be met. If now, it’s what I have heard to as a deal breaker. When Frances, for example, expresses her desire for ‘appreciation’ and ‘levity’- she is telling her fiancé what she is looking for.
Clearly there is a miscommunication here, because William is looking for stability (financial and physical) from their relationship. This is clear as he yells that she will starve without him. When a significant others’ god and devil-terms don’t line up this can lead to either constant fighting or probably a break up sooner or later.
As I have learned from learning about social exchange theory, the relationship should have more of their god-terms (benefits) met in order for the relationship to be considered fair and worthwhile. How do you feel about this idea of relational god and devil-terms???
Craven, W. (2006). "La Pere Lachaise". Paris, Je T'Aime.
United States & Paris: First Look Studios & Victoires International.
